Ten Crazily Worded Songs

      Ok folks it has been a while, and actually this is my first post since i started this blog.  It's my first blog post ever, but I figured why not give it a try.  I hope the links work I hope it looks good.  But I assure you it is a good read.                    

                            In honor of that crazy new hit, “what does the Fox say” I thought I would throw together a list of my ten favorite songs with crazy messed lyrics. I thought I would just give everyone something to think about. This is not necessarily a top ten list; I didn’t feel like ranking them. In the end, they are all pretty good songs, but they just make no sense.

Mellow Yellow-Donovan

Sample Lyric:

“Electrical banana
Is gonna be a sudden craze
Electrical banana
Is bound to be the very next phase”

So this is definitely a great song, but what exactly is Donovan talking about? This lyric comes after he tells us that he is mad about Saffron and Fourteen. Fourteen? Is he just giving girls weird pet names, or is he just crazy as all hell. I give him credit for making comic books cool with Sunshine Superman, but that doesn’t forgive this.

Good Morning Starshine- Oliver

Sample Lyric:

Gliddy gloop gloopy
Nibby nobby nooby
La la la lo lo
Sabba sibby sabba

Where do I begin? In MSword, every single word in the above lyric is underlined. Ok, that being said, I think hair is a great musical, but think about the simple fact that when the folks that made the movie version, got down to it, the only way this song was included was the national lampoon wife singing in the car. no dance just weirdness.  Also, don’t forget that later in the song there is a lyric that repeats the words song and sing over and over. I mean this has to go down as the worst lyrical song of all time.

Hashpipe –weezer

Sample Lyric:

The knee-stocking flavor
Is a favorite treat
Of men that don't bother
With the taste of a teat. 

For anyone that knows me, they might find this as a surprise. But hey, if you can’t find fault in your favorite artist, then you are not being judgmental enough.  The video was great, it had tits and ass in it; albeit sumo wrestlers tits and ass but nonetheless.  Also, let’s not forget this was their comeback album after almost 4 full years of hiatus, but seriously, what is this song about.  Aside from Rivers having his hashpipe, he also has his big g’s and his ass wipe. And don’t forget he can’t help his boogies?

Glass Onion – The Beatles

Sample Lyric:

Fixing a hole in the ocean
Trying to make a dovetail joint, yeah
Looking through a glass onion

Keep in mind, you could go through half of the songs that the Beatles wrote and say they are nonsense.  But for me this one takes the cake.  Earlier in the song john tells us that “the walrus was Paul” this of course harkens back to I am the Walrus, which is another fucked up song, but that one is at least fun. Most of this song just feels like John disowns the band’s past. Of course then again it was the White Album, and the ending of The Beatles was in sight.

We didn’t start the Fire - Billy Joel

Sample Lyric:

Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland
Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev
Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez

Ok, this is a great song, and I know every word to it. But that does not mean that it makes sense, realistically, it is just a history lesson, but I don’t really understand what the point of the song is. I mean what exactly is the fire and if Billy Joel didn’t start it, then who did? But is he mad about it. I mean what sort of fire did Peter Pan start and does it really compare to Trouble in the Suez or even Kennedy being blown away?

Tubthumping – Chumbawamba

Sample Lyric:

 I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down

Ok, so this lyrical equivalent to pi repeats about 25 more times, after that,  I am not even joking, and realistically, the only other line in the song sounds like a bachelor party gone awry. It’s just a list of shots and drinks, there really is no point to this song, but somehow a lady manages to say “pissing the night away” and she sounds very sensual. Alas, it is now played at sporting events all the time, but people there are so drunk they don’t realize it makes no sense. 

MmmBop – Hanson

Sample Lyric:

Mmmbop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du, yeah

Ok, so truthfully the verses do kind of make sense, but the chorus, well it sounds like it was written by a 12 year old, and actually it was! So can you call it a horrible song, maybe, but I am sure it is one of a lot of people’s guilty pleasures, and by a lot of people I may just be talking about myself.  Later on in the song, it is discovered that mmmbop is able to represent almost every part of speech, kind of like smurf.

Blinded By The Light - Manfred Mann and his Earth Band

Sample Lyric:

Madman drummers bummers,
Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat

Before I get blasted, yes I know that Bruce Springsteen wrote the song, but realistically Manfred Mann does the version that we all know and love. The worst part is that Manfred changed cut loose to revved up, then he mispronounced the whole thing so it sounds like “wrapped up like a douche”!  So anyways, whichever version you prefer it doesn’t make sense at all. Just a hodgepodge of words that follow a decent rhyme scheme. But in the end, I am still wrapped up like a douche.

Safety Dance – Men Without Hats

Sample lyric:

We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well, they're no friends of mine

What exactly is this song trying to say. I like to believe it was originally written for the movie footloose. At least then the lyrics would make a little bit of sense, I mean, also we learn than if we abuse it we will never lose it. I think truthfully the scariest part of this song is the video. That shit makes me never want to dance again.

Double Dutch Bus-Frankie Smith

Sample lyric:

Bip, bomp, bam alakazam
But only when you're grooving
With the Double Dutch Man
Put on your skates don't forget your rope
'Cause I know I'm gonna see you
At my Double Dutch Show

Ok, so the lyrics in this song sort of make sense, but realistically, why the hell is there a bus that requires you to double dutch jump rope in roller skates, and why is this anyone’s preferred way to travel? I tell you what is cool though, is this song introduced people to the slang of adding “izza” to words, and it was done long before Snoop Dogg (or Lion or whatever he is called now) was doing it.  The lyric that really topples me over is when he says his corns hurt. Gross but worth the listen.

                      So there you have it, ten of the craziest lyrical songs of all time.  I tried to put together a list that would have you thinking and hopefully singing along. If I left anything off, feel free to let me know. Or let me know if you like the list, maybe I blasted your favorite song. Who knows, just glad you read my blog.  Keep singing the songs!!