6 reasons why you should love Neil Diamond

So it is time we get things a little personal.  In my house, there is a constant debate about whether or not Neil Diamond is a worthwhile artist. I love him, I think he is a genius songwriter and I like his voice.  The woman of the house completely disagrees and thinks that his voice is bad and that his songs are tacky. So I thought that I would put my side of the argument out there for you folks to read, and you can be the judge.

Let me preface by saying, I first got hooked onto Neil Diamond as a seven year old boy. I was at the Wisconsin State Fair with my family; we also saw Sha Na Na and The Platters that day.  But before we got to see anything I was drawn over to a stage that was holding a Neil Diamond impersonation contest.  I heard the song America almost fifteen times in a row, each time loving it more and more.(I had even hoped someone would give me a scarf) So from that moment on I was hooked. Now the things that I have compiled here are not necessarily supposed to be funny, but it is ok to laugh.

1         1     I’m a Believer

So, where do you start with this song? What makes it so great is the simplicity of it. Diamond wrote it and recorded it, but before he could release it, The Monkees came along with their own version and took it to number 1. It was one of the biggest songs of all time selling more than 10 million copies.  It was released in late 1966 and spent 7 weeks in the top spot. It is considered by some to be the best song of 1967 since it started the year at number 1. (Personally I can’t speak for that, I wasn’t there, but Sgt Pepper and Purple Haze were out in 1967 as well so…?)  I’m a believer has been recorded by over 20 different artists, It was in not 1 but 2 Shrek movies; Once by Smash Mouth and the second time by weezer, the Smash mouth version receiving considerable airplay. It is a great song, below you will see Neil's new arrangement, which is so good it might make you cry. 

2   2.      Sweet Caroline

I don’t need to say anything else, if you don’t know this song, then where the hell have you been for the last 44 years?  I will tell you a few things that you may not know.  The song was inspired by Caroline Kennedy, JFK’s daughter. I don’t know if that is creepy or not because she was a little girl, and I never think about a little girl when I hear this song but whatever. I am sure you know that it is the Red Sox’s anthem, if not, now you do. It started when some guy in the Red Sox offices had a baby named Caroline, then it just stuck.  Diamond is now donating any new royalties from the song to a fund that benefits the Boston Marathon bombing victims. The video I include below is not Neil at his best, but it is from when he showed up unexpected and sang along with the song at the first game after the bombings.  Which is pretty sweet! (no pun intended)

      3.      Will Ferrell as Neil Diamond

So maybe this is a stretch, but I feel that when Will Ferrell does an impersonation of you, then you must be doing something right. Whether it is out of love or jokingly, doesn’t really matter, because as they say, even bad publicity is publicity. I like to think that Ferrell has a fondness for Diamond but I could be completely wrong. Either way it is funny and really good at the same time. Ferrell does it really well and has the look and voice down and just throws in a few off color jokes out of nowhere that make all of it work.  Feel free to search the web for your favorite clip, but I have included mine here. 

4     4.    Tree People

I first heard Hot August Night on record, long before the internet was a common thing, so I had no way to figure out what the hell Diamond was talking about. So to go back; Hot August Night is a live album, and a fantastic one at that. Side 1 of the record is just plain incredible. The record was recorded during Diamond’s 10 sold out shows in the Greek Theatre. During the dialogue section on side 1 Diamond references the Tree People, the first time I heard it I thought he was a lunatic and  talking to aliens. I didn’t really understand until I went to alpine Valley in East Troy, Wisconsin and sat in the grass and trees in the back.  The Greek Theatre is a small venue, that holds around 6,000, but Neil just loved those people in the way back.

5     5.       Jay White

So Jay white is actually a Neil Diamond impersonator but he is a damn good one.  He played a show in Salt Lake City for 18,000 people.  Seriously 18,000 people to see an impersonator?  That’s, like a whole summer’s worth of touring for Creed!  The main thing that I love about Jay White though is that he performed at the 50^th class reunion for the class of 1963 Princeton graduates, and tons of students showed up to the tent on the grounds and actually believed they were really seeing Neil Diamond.  Ok, seriously, I can understand this coming from the drunk kids in Madison, WI. But these Princeton kids are supposed to be smart. Either way it is incredible and I wish I could have been there. Here is the Article about the incident from the Princeton Newspaper

6     6.        Saving Silverman

Did you really think that I would write this whole article without mentioning Saving Silverman?  I of course, saved the best for last.  For those of you who have not seen Saving Silverman, don’t read this because I am about to spoil it, Instead go watch it now.( I know for a fact that they have it at Family Video.)  Ok, so a whole movie about a Neil Diamond cover band, that has Jack Black and Steve Zahn in it; along with that ugly guy from the American Pie movies. (Yes I know his name, but I am sickened by the fact that such a homely man got to be the main love interest in so many of the movies of my generation so fuck him no free publicity here) The icing on the cake is the fact that not only is there a really awesome stereotypical Indian guy singing Cherry Cherry, but Diamond himself makes an appearance.  So I mean, you can’t go wrong at all.

Alright folks there it is, 6 great reasons to love Neil Diamond.  Keep in mind that I didn’t even have to mention (until now) that he wrote almost 40 top 40 hits, his music is played worldwide, he starred in The Jazz Singer, and I never once referenced the great song Holly Holy.  So I recommend you listen to a little Neil in the near future, and before you go to sleep Thank the Lord for the Night Time.

Now That's what I call a cover!!

Alright, look alive because there are still a few links in here the old way, look for the text in different colors, but I have finally decided to embed the videos too. So don't be alarmed and have some fun

So I originally intended this to be about those cool moments in music when an artist busts in and does a few lines of a different song.  Those unexpected live moments that are just so cool. I started compiling my list and researching, but it turns out that people don’t keep track of them, and I mean there are a few to show off but what I ended up really discovering is how many great artists cover other songs.

 So the original thing that I was looking for, was like John Mayer’s Your Body is a Wonderland, if you can sit through the awkward solo, you are rewarded with a few lines of someone else’s work.  I think it’s worth it.  The other one that came to mind was MxPx’s cover of (I’m Gonna Be) 500 Miles, the premise right off the bat is great and then the surprise they throw in at the end just kick’s it up a notch!  Last but not least in the category of hidden surprises is Smoking Popes song On the Shoulder, it seems that whenever they do this live they mix it up a little near the breakdown.  So the version that I linked you to is the one I am used to, but there are plenty of other options if you search for them.

So that was what I was looking for, just a quick snippet of something else, a cool bridge or whatever. I never thought I would find some of the cool gems that I found. I honestly am sad that I didn’t know about some of these. So I am excited to share them with you, and maybe you have heard a few of them, maybe not, but these are some great covers by some great people.

I will start it off with Vampire Weekend’s cover of Blurred Lines, yep you read that right. I mean I guess cover versions of this were to be expected, I mean it was the hottest song of the summer and all. I guess I was just surprised that Vampire Weekend took up the helm. They do great justice to the song, and actually in my humbled opinion it is better than the original. Now let me reiterate that thought, I loved the original, I thought it was a great song. It was fun, hip and simple. But on top of that I love Vampire Weekend, when I wasn’t listening to Blurred Lines, then Diane Young was on repeat all summer. So it was the combination of the two that had me hooked, and like I said it is a pretty true to form cover.  Well I mean, just check it out.

Ok, now check this out.  Bill Cosby doing a cover of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.  I had no idea this existed. I had to look into it, and apparently Cosby made a few singing albums. Now I have heard some of his old stuff and of course I loved the TV show, but somehow I had gone through 31 years of life without being informed that Bill Cosby had sung.  On top of it I love The Beatles, so anyone covering a Beatles song gets in my good graces. This is just Cosby scream-rapping his way through Paul’s lines, but it manages to sound pretty cool.

So I am going to take a few steps back to when I was in high school. I got the Beastie Boys anthology c.d. it had one of the craziest cover songs on it that I had ever heard. Nestled somewhere between Brass Monkey and Intergalactic was a live version of Biz Markie doing a cover of Elton John’s Bennie and the Jets. I was in awe the first time I heard it, in fact I am not sure I liked it right away, but I have grown into an absolute fondness of it. Biz has his trademark voice and he attempts at singing, and the song has a plain funness to it.  He softly mumbles through the verses before singing the choruses. You can’t help but get hooked into it.

Ok, now for a moment that has always been a guilty pleasure of mine.  I watched the OC live every night, only having to record one episode, and that was because of the birth of my child. The OC always had great music and it introduced a lot of cool bands. But it was in season 1 when Anna left that the music team gave us Nada Surf’s cover of OMD song If You Leave. Now if you have never heard of OMD I don’t blame you, this was their biggest hit, but if you love 80’s movies you would know this song.  The song played at the end of Pretty in Pink. Also, maybe you have never heard of Nada Surf, they were a great “alternative” band of the mid-nineties, their song Popular was just that. But this cover song is so beautiful, yes I cried when it was on TV, but the moment was heartfelt and the song fit in perfectly.

Ok, so the final cover song that I love and will tell you about is Jimmy Eat World’s cover of Taylor Swift’s song We are Never Ever Getting Back Together.  So anyone that knows me would know that Taylor Swift is not on my normal playlist. I don’t think she is horrible, but I like everyone else just wish she would find a perfect relationship and start writing some happy songs.  However if you have followed along I got into the “emo” scene in my late teen years, and bands like Jimmy Eat World that blurred the emo/pop punk line were high on my list.  You may remember the song The Middle.  So for some odd reason this works for me. And it works well.

So there are a few of my current favorite cover songs.  I tried to stay diverse and offer a little bit for everyone, otherwise it could have just ended up as a list of my favorite covers by weezer.  So I hope you enjoy and learn a little.  Let me know if I left anything off.

PS  the runners up were; The Fray covering Ace of Base’s The Sign, Alanis Morisette doing The Black Eyed Peas hit My Humps, weezer doing The Weight originally by The Band

Find me on facebook

Just a quick note, for anyone following the blog, you can find me on facebook. Just click the word facebook, then you can follow me there and see all the little pictures and quotes that I throw out. So just check it out!

May I Have Your Attention Please

         So, Now that I have a few people’s attention and can feel momentum, I wanted to give a little bit more explanation to why I am writing this blog, and what I hope to get out of it, etc. 

For those of you that know me or know of me, maybe some of today’s post will be old news, but I feel like I need to catch the world up on who I am and what my vision is.

         My love of music started a long time ago.  The first tape that I ever got was George Michael’s Faith. I don’t know how I convinced my mother or father that it was a good thing, but somehow, I was a six year old boy singing all the words to I Want Your Sex.  That didn’t impress my grandparents, but my mother defended me, she knew that it was only music and that it made her little boy happy.  After that I would listen to anything and everything I could get my hands on. Oldies, Motown, folk music, classical, country, hip hop……  I mean seriously, I think by the time I had a cd player, at one point or another I had borrowed every CD that the Kenosha Public library had to offer. That is where I found some great Wisconsin based bands, The Bodeans, Timbuk3, and Steve Miller.  Hell, I even borrowed cd’s that were just full of sound effects.  

       When I was in Junior High and High School, I was in a few bands, and I knew how to play every instrument so that made me very accessible.  I played drums for a while in a band and I was playing a set that me and 4 other guys pieced together from friends and attics, it was the most mismatched drum set that the VFW ever saw.  I played bass for a while, but then my old ass amp had a meltdown, but I tell you what; the tones that you could get while the tubes inside were literally on fire was pretty sweet ass stuff.  I played keyboard, I sang, I played trumpet, I did it all. None of it was incredible sounding, but the feeling was out of this world.

          When I was 19 I became a DJ. I worked in Milwaukee and the areas around there. I worked for a company and we had some great gigs.  Weddings, parties, Miller Park, the Bradley Center bars all around the area. It was so eye opening and I owe a lot of what I learned about music to Chris Wilson, the owner of the company.  He offered to sell it to me when I was 21, and in one of my bonehead moments I turned him down.  He moved to Florida, and I moved to Door County where I ended up starting my own DJ company.

I ran my company for a few years and while in Door County I met a lot of great musicians, I played at a few open mics in the area. I put on a concert with old friends and new ones.  I got to meet Pat mAcdonald of Timbuk3, (I didn’t tell him until an email afterwards of how in awe and starstruck the 14 year old boy inside of me was)

         So that brings me to where I am today, I am just a guy who loves music and loves talking about it. 

          The content of my blog is usually not hip to current events, or the latest albums. Rest assured I listen to them, I think Eminem’s MMLP2 is incredible not as great as the original, but I was an angsty teen then, so maybe I am just getting too old.  So yeah, I have opinions on all that stuff and can tell you about it if you ask, but I feel that there are enough people to do that. I mean how many times can you be bombarded with images of Miley Cyrus’ ass?

        Also, Elwood Blues open’s the Briefcase Full of Blues album by saying:

 “Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the Universal Amphitheatre. Well, here it is, the late seventies going on 1985. You know, so much of the music we hear today is all pre-programmed electronic disco, we never get a chance to hear master blues men practicing their craft anymore. By the year 2006, the music known today as the blues will exist only in the classical records department of your local library. So tonight ladies and gentlemen, while we still can, let us welcome, from Rock Island Illinois, the blues band of Joliet Jake and Elwood Blues, the Blues Brothers.”

         I can’t help but feel that some of that is a little true. Now, yes, I know that there are still people playing the blues and that nothing has truly died, and without getting political, I feel like most radio stations are powered by their advertisers and big corporations. They become part of some “big box” broadcasting group and get suckered into the money of it, rather than the music.  There are exceptions and there are plenty of them, but when I listen to my children talk about music, or when I would DJ and have song’s requested, I just felt like this whole Ipad, “gotta have it now” generation is losing its touch with great music. Maybe my dad felt the same about my generation and that is why he never tried, or maybe he was just being a dick, I don’t know.  

        Don’t get me wrong, a lot of the music that I love is pop based, but I branched out there.  I don’t know if kids really have the same connection that I thought my friends and I had with music.  Again maybe, I am old and cynical, but I am the same guy who was rocking a Tom Petty song while DJ-ing over the summer and had Gangnam Style not only requested but preferred. (I don’t give a fuck if Don’t Come Around Here No More doesn’t have its own dance, the video is amazing and the song is incredible!!)  Music is about a feeling, and no one can describe that feeling but you. Not Clear Channel Not GE or Disney, it comes from the heart of the listener, and it’s moved by whatever connects the listener to that particular artist or song or band.

        So maybe I am some sort of weird musical crusader and maybe my religion of music isn’t to your liking, but this is who I am and I just think that it’s cool for me to share all of my knowledge.  I don’t know where I learn these things or why I remember them, but it is a fun journey to go down.

        From here on out I won’t try to rant anymore or be preachy. I try to link videos into all of my posts just so you can experience things yourself. I plan on writing a few essays about certain artists or bands, and just whatever. I dig making lists, and I try to be humorous. So please sit back and enjoy the ride, maybe invite friends to come along, or just add people. Again, the more the Merrier!!   

What is that band called???!!!

Ren: Don't you ever listen to the radio?

                  

Willard: No. We got one radio at home, but it's never on.

Ren: You like Men at Work?

Willard: Which men?

Ren:  Men at Work.

Willard:  Where do they work?

Ren:  They're a music group.

Willard:  What do they call themselves?

Ren: Oh, no. What about the Police?

Willard:  What about 'em?

Ren: Have you heard them?

Willard: No, but I seen 'em.

Ren: In concert?

Willard: No, behind you.

Ren:  What? Oh, shit!

This is probably one of the funniest scenes in the original Footloose movie.  It is also the point in my life when I realized that people didn’t quite understand the names of all my favorite bands. That got me wondering how many other bands out there might really confuse people with their names. I compiled a short list with a few anecdotes behind them, again it is in no order and there are plenty of more out there, but these are the ones I felt like writing about. After all It is my blog.

Mr. Mister

They had hits with Broken Wings and Kyrie, but doesn’t the fact that they have not one but two titles without a surname bother anyone else?  I mean, I don’t know why they can’t be Mr. Jones or Mr. Bojangles or something else. I have a hard enough time talking; now when I try to tell my friend’s about this song Kyrie, they think I have a stuttering problem, all because they had to call their band Mr. Mister.  (Coincidentally, does anyone else giggle a little bit when you hear a pastor or Priest say Kyrie Eleison?)

Yes

Ok, I mean seriously, whenever I hear Owner of a Lonely Heart I just shout Yes!, and no one ever gets the joke.  But I mean the real good joke really happens when someone says “hey, do you know who does this song?”  Then you can simply say Yes and work your way through a whole Abbot and Costello scene, without upsetting Charlie Babbitt. The band has been around for my whole life(actually since the late sixties), and their live work is actually pretty stellar. So, if you ask me what concert you should go to, I will just say “yes”

?  and the Mysterians

Ok, so that is literally what the record has written on it. Is it Mike, Bill , or Timmy and the Mysterians? No, the leader of the band goes by the name Question Mark, even though his name is really Rudy. They had a decent hit with 96 tears, and smash mouth covered, Can’t get enough of you baby, but that was about it. I still like them though.  Plus I like the idea that if a radio station properly writes out the name of the band it could possibly confuse my car stereo.

Ben Folds Five

Anyone that loves this group as much as I do, or remembers the 90’s knows exactly why this band name is listed here. Ben Folds plays piano and sings, while Robert Sledge plays the bass and Darren Jesse plays the drums. “What about the other two guys?”  There are no other two guys. Ben Folds is a quirky dude, but he makes great music. According to Ben Folds, the name flows better than Ben Folds Three or The Ben Folds Trio. And realistically it does.  Maybe I wouldn’t have liked them as much had they had a different name.

Barenaked Ladies

Aside from the fact that Barenaked is actually two words, the main reason why I am adding them to the list is because, people are generally confused by their name; at least my mom was when she wouldn’t let me go see them, she thought it was a burlesque act, no joke! I assume that that may have happened to many young boys. Not to mention, there are no women in the group, and no one in their right mind would ever want to see the members of the group naked. Ok maybe the bass player, but that’s just because people have a thing for red heads.

Hootie and theblowfish

Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but,  there is no Hootie.  Darius Rucker, who we all know now as a country singer, was never called Hootie, until after his band became famous. It is just a silly made up name, and actually is the nickname of one of Rucker’s friends.  So realistically there was a Hootie, but he was never in the band, as for the blowfish, you can look them up on some where are they now blog, because I have no idea, maybe they are making music with Andrew Ridgeley somewhere.

DashboardConfessional

So, there isn’t a lot of mystery behind how they got their name, or who is who. So why do they make the list? They make the list only because, I was with them from the beginning, when Chris Carrabba left Further seems Forever and released a solo album. Solo, as in one guy.  So I never understood why it wasn’t just named after the one guy. Then when all of a sudden the one guy started a new band, the band had the same name as the one man act.  The whole thing has confused me, I still don’t know if I understand it. Is Chris Dashboard and the other guys are a backup band? And if that is true, it’s weird that it has been the same guys for so long.  I mean, if you listen to what they did in 2003(after they plugged in) and compare it to the original songs, it is a whole different feeling. I don’t know, I still don’t get it.  

Ghoti Hook

For those of you who don’t know the word ghoti is a weird phonetic spelling for the word fish. Ok, so “gh” in rough or tough sounds like “f” the “o” in the word women has a short” i” sound and” ti” in most words ending in “tion” sounds like “sh”; so there you have it a phonetic spelling of fish.  So really the band is called Fish Hook. But it is not that simple,  the name of the band is actually pronounced  “goatee.”  If you have never heard of them, they were a nineties Christian pop punk band, in the vein of mxpx or Blink 182(Blink 182 not being  a Christian group of course).  Ghoti Hook’s cover of walking on Sunshine is pretty kick ass.  So, my question is, why go through all of the trouble to spell out the word fish and then not even pronounce it that way. It just makes me feel crazy inside.

It was Bill Shakespeare who once said something about a rose being just as sweet by any other name. Truthfully it was Juliet in one of Shakespeare’s most well-known plays, but the point that I was trying to make is that, would any of these bands be just as popular in regards to what their name is?  It’s hard to say. But I know I would rather listen to Pearl Jam than Mookie Blaylock, and has anyone ever heard of the Quarrymen?

Stages of a relationship through music

               
Elizabeth Barrett Browning once wrote, “How do I love thee, let me count the ways…” since then, and before then, people have been expressing their love through many ways, especially music. 

Maybe, it’s a ballad meant to woo the girl of their dreams, or a rock song trying to win her back.  It could even be a simple pop song about how someone loves spending their days with someone else.  Maybe it’s a new emo song that doesn't make sense to your grandma, but makes you cry every time you hear it. There are a lot of songs that talk about love. 

               

             
 Let’s start at the beginning, and go chronologically through a relationship.   The first thing you really have to do is tell someone that you love them. 

No song does that better than “Space Age Love Song” by A Flock of Seagulls.    Say what you want about the bands’ hair or their psychedelic rock style, but break the song down for its lyrical content and you have the best way ever to tell a girl or guy that you are falling in love with them.  

Maybe it’s a simple song but it opens with, “I saw your eyes, and it made me smile and for a little while, I was falling in love”.   

Any teenager who has been in a relationship, heck anybody that’s ever been a relationship knows what it’s like to literally see sparkles in someone’s eyes, to remember the fragrance of their date’s perfume, and walk through the mall 2 days later and smell it again and just feel that warmth of the previous night.

 Everyone knows what love feels like.  It’s that feeling that A Flock Of Seagulls invokes.  This song speaks to your gut, you feel it, and you know what it’s like.

             

               
Now let’s sidestep for a moment, shall we?

Same timeline, it’s a guy telling a girl that he loves her; however it is clear that she is not interested.

The song in question is Taking Back Sunday’s  “You’re So Last Summer”.

 Adam Lazzara sings about falling in love an odd way, and he realizes that he is never going to get that far, but he almost begs the girl for something, anything. 

At one point he promises her, (and this is one of my favorite love invoking lyrics) “The truth is, you could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath, I’d apologize for bleeding on your shirt.”  Stop reading for a moment and think about how deep that is……
………
……...
………
………
….......
  
Yeah, that’s a lot to take in.

 So, we are hearing from a guy that is so in love, he doesn't care if the girl kills him.  Lyrics like that are usually reserved for breakup songs, but these pseudo-emo rockers make it work. 

Again, we have all been there before.  Clutching reaching for anything, trying to breathe some sort of breath into this thing that you know is right.  You might see it as desperation, maybe even suicidal, but it’s so much more.  It is that night that you go home crying because you just saw the boy that you have a crush on kissing some other girl.  Or maybe you can even compare it to the feeling you get when you find out you didn't make the baseball team; and you feel like all of that practice and training you did was a waste.   The song speaks for itself.

               

               
 I think anyone would agree that Billy Joel writes great songs.

Hands down “Just the Way You Are” is, in my opinion the greatest love song ever written, (from the point of view of someone in a relationship).  

Billy talks about how much he loves this girl for just being herself. He doesn't care about any of her downfalls or bad habits. 

Truthfully, isn't that the kind of relationship that we are all looking for?  No one is perfect, and Billy Joel realizes that.  We all want someone that will love us for all of our idiosyncrasies, and we will do the same for them.  Maybe it is a husband who after 30 years still laughs every time his wife farts in bed.   It’s the little old couple who still holds hands at the movies.  Or it is simply knowing that there are parts of your significant other that no one else will ever understand, and knowing that makes you love them more.

 Bottom line it is perfect love.

              

                 
 We are finally at the post break up song, and there a lot of them, and really they cover different emotions and feelings, but I will try to keep it brief. 

So, there is the simple sad, I can’t go on feeling.  That break up where you just want to lay on the couch for days.  Maybe you can’t eat; maybe you just eat tubs of Ben and Jerry’s. 

But either way, you are hurt and life really is not all that good.  Your friends want to cheer you up, but let’s be honest they don’t get it. This is simple me time. 

The songs that you find there are plentiful.  The Cure’s  “Boys Don’t Cry”, Harry Nilsson’s “Without You”, Air Supply’s “All Out of Love”   The list could go on and on.

 Then there are songs that attempt to regain the love of a previous relationship.  Sometimes it doesn't work, sometimes it does, and sometimes it’s just a matter of getting that feeling back. 

Getting that emotion comes to mind when you hear a song like “I’d Really Love To See You Tonight” by England Dan and John Ford Coley. 

It is a simple song by a band that had two hits.  But the song is from the point of view of a guy that just wants one last night with an ex flame.  He tells her he doesn't want to move in.  He doesn't want to mess up her life, but for him, he needs that touch, that smell, just that part of the relationship that made him feel better.  It’s not that he wants to get back together with her. 

He just wants to feel her next to him.

He wants that closeness.

He wants her.




         
         
The final scenario is a love song about a guy that wants to get back together with a girl that he once loved, but once again she rejects him.

So it’s like a double hurt, probably the most pain you can ever experience. "Pretty Pathetic"  by The Smoking Popes.  

I have always pictured it as a guy at a bar telling someone about the horrible night he had. He had a perfect evening planned with his ex.  But it just didn't work out. 

At one point, he says “she had to feel something for me a love as strong as ours doesn't just  go away you can’t just turn it off unless she was lying all those times but I don’t think so”  

But it doesn't happen, and we have all been there you say all of those awkward things.  You cry you take off your glasses you beg.  It’s the moment where you know you sound pathetic, but you know it is this or the couch with the ice cream, so you give it your all; it is the Lloyd Dobbler boom box in the air moment.

               
People will continue to write love songs. 

Maybe your favorite is not in this essay, but I am sure you can identify to the feelings that are presented here.  And as time continues there will be new songs but the themes will remain the same.

 Love is the Answer.  

Ten Crazily Worded Songs

      Ok folks it has been a while, and actually this is my first post since i started this blog.  It's my first blog post ever, but I figured why not give it a try.  I hope the links work I hope it looks good.  But I assure you it is a good read.                    

                            In honor of that crazy new hit, “what does the Fox say” I thought I would throw together a list of my ten favorite songs with crazy messed lyrics. I thought I would just give everyone something to think about. This is not necessarily a top ten list; I didn’t feel like ranking them. In the end, they are all pretty good songs, but they just make no sense.

Mellow Yellow-Donovan

Sample Lyric:

“Electrical banana
Is gonna be a sudden craze
Electrical banana
Is bound to be the very next phase”

So this is definitely a great song, but what exactly is Donovan talking about? This lyric comes after he tells us that he is mad about Saffron and Fourteen. Fourteen? Is he just giving girls weird pet names, or is he just crazy as all hell. I give him credit for making comic books cool with Sunshine Superman, but that doesn’t forgive this.

Good Morning Starshine- Oliver

Sample Lyric:

Gliddy gloop gloopy
Nibby nobby nooby
La la la lo lo
Sabba sibby sabba

Where do I begin? In MSword, every single word in the above lyric is underlined. Ok, that being said, I think hair is a great musical, but think about the simple fact that when the folks that made the movie version, got down to it, the only way this song was included was the national lampoon wife singing in the car. no dance just weirdness.  Also, don’t forget that later in the song there is a lyric that repeats the words song and sing over and over. I mean this has to go down as the worst lyrical song of all time.

Hashpipe –weezer

Sample Lyric:

The knee-stocking flavor
Is a favorite treat
Of men that don't bother
With the taste of a teat. 

For anyone that knows me, they might find this as a surprise. But hey, if you can’t find fault in your favorite artist, then you are not being judgmental enough.  The video was great, it had tits and ass in it; albeit sumo wrestlers tits and ass but nonetheless.  Also, let’s not forget this was their comeback album after almost 4 full years of hiatus, but seriously, what is this song about.  Aside from Rivers having his hashpipe, he also has his big g’s and his ass wipe. And don’t forget he can’t help his boogies?

Glass Onion – The Beatles

Sample Lyric:

Fixing a hole in the ocean
Trying to make a dovetail joint, yeah
Looking through a glass onion

Keep in mind, you could go through half of the songs that the Beatles wrote and say they are nonsense.  But for me this one takes the cake.  Earlier in the song john tells us that “the walrus was Paul” this of course harkens back to I am the Walrus, which is another fucked up song, but that one is at least fun. Most of this song just feels like John disowns the band’s past. Of course then again it was the White Album, and the ending of The Beatles was in sight.

We didn’t start the Fire - Billy Joel

Sample Lyric:

Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland
Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev
Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez

Ok, this is a great song, and I know every word to it. But that does not mean that it makes sense, realistically, it is just a history lesson, but I don’t really understand what the point of the song is. I mean what exactly is the fire and if Billy Joel didn’t start it, then who did? But is he mad about it. I mean what sort of fire did Peter Pan start and does it really compare to Trouble in the Suez or even Kennedy being blown away?

Tubthumping – Chumbawamba

Sample Lyric:

 I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down

Ok, so this lyrical equivalent to pi repeats about 25 more times, after that,  I am not even joking, and realistically, the only other line in the song sounds like a bachelor party gone awry. It’s just a list of shots and drinks, there really is no point to this song, but somehow a lady manages to say “pissing the night away” and she sounds very sensual. Alas, it is now played at sporting events all the time, but people there are so drunk they don’t realize it makes no sense. 

MmmBop – Hanson

Sample Lyric:

Mmmbop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du, yeah

Ok, so truthfully the verses do kind of make sense, but the chorus, well it sounds like it was written by a 12 year old, and actually it was! So can you call it a horrible song, maybe, but I am sure it is one of a lot of people’s guilty pleasures, and by a lot of people I may just be talking about myself.  Later on in the song, it is discovered that mmmbop is able to represent almost every part of speech, kind of like smurf.

Blinded By The Light - Manfred Mann and his Earth Band

Sample Lyric:

Madman drummers bummers,
Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat

Before I get blasted, yes I know that Bruce Springsteen wrote the song, but realistically Manfred Mann does the version that we all know and love. The worst part is that Manfred changed cut loose to revved up, then he mispronounced the whole thing so it sounds like “wrapped up like a douche”!  So anyways, whichever version you prefer it doesn’t make sense at all. Just a hodgepodge of words that follow a decent rhyme scheme. But in the end, I am still wrapped up like a douche.

Safety Dance – Men Without Hats

Sample lyric:

We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well, they're no friends of mine

What exactly is this song trying to say. I like to believe it was originally written for the movie footloose. At least then the lyrics would make a little bit of sense, I mean, also we learn than if we abuse it we will never lose it. I think truthfully the scariest part of this song is the video. That shit makes me never want to dance again.

Double Dutch Bus-Frankie Smith

Sample lyric:

Bip, bomp, bam alakazam
But only when you're grooving
With the Double Dutch Man
Put on your skates don't forget your rope
'Cause I know I'm gonna see you
At my Double Dutch Show

Ok, so the lyrics in this song sort of make sense, but realistically, why the hell is there a bus that requires you to double dutch jump rope in roller skates, and why is this anyone’s preferred way to travel? I tell you what is cool though, is this song introduced people to the slang of adding “izza” to words, and it was done long before Snoop Dogg (or Lion or whatever he is called now) was doing it.  The lyric that really topples me over is when he says his corns hurt. Gross but worth the listen.

                      So there you have it, ten of the craziest lyrical songs of all time.  I tried to put together a list that would have you thinking and hopefully singing along. If I left anything off, feel free to let me know. Or let me know if you like the list, maybe I blasted your favorite song. Who knows, just glad you read my blog.  Keep singing the songs!!