Killer Openings

A song, just like a good book has to have an incredible opening. It’s gotta suck you in right away or there’s no point.

I would argue that half the people that read the above line, stopped reading cause it was a shitty opening line. 

Let me try again.

It was all a dream, I used to read Word Up magazine, Salt and Pepa and Heavy D up in the limousine.

Did that work better?  Obviously, The Notorious B.I.G. deserves credit, and that opening line from Juicy gets an honorable mention.

So here comes a list of songs that contain my favorite opening lines in musical history.

So I have chosen not to number these as I hate trying to rank things and I change my mind more than a corrupt politician, so I just am throwing together a group of songs whose opening lines made me want more and more. 

So here goes nothing.

I met her in a club down in old SoHo where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry cola c-o-l-a- cola.

The Kinks – Lola

Depending on the source it’s either cherry cola or Coca Cola.  The album says Coca- and the single says cherry, because the BBC doesn’t allow product placement in songs, they have this thing about free advertisement, those jerks. As if Coke needed the Kinks to succeed. 

The cool thing is that the song then progresses into a 1970 anthem empowering trans-people everywhere.   Think about that, 46 years ago, Ray Davies was glad he was a man and so was Lola. 

That turned some people away and got the song banned in a few places, but the Kinks were no strangers to banishment. (They spent some years not allowed to play in America, apparently they were rowdy. Thanks a lot Bin Laden)

But honestly, when you hear that opening line nowadays, you turn that knob up and rock out.  Not to mention, if you are like me whenever someone has a cherry cola, you think of this song.    Don’t you dare say you think of that stupid Savage Garden song. In fact, if you thought about that, then you just leave; we don’t need your kind around here.

Ok we weeded out a few more stupid idiots.  Enjoy the song.

Jeremiah was a bullfrog; he was a good friend of mine. I never understood a single word he said, but I helped him drink his wine.

Three dog Night – Joy to the World

Did this song make sense, maybe not. But the idea of bringing joy to the world more often than the Christmas version wants us to believe is possible is pretty damn cool.

Three Dog Night don’t need an introduction, neither does this song really, I mean like I said, it’s a very nonsensical look into one man’s version of Utopia. 

But I mean how can you not like the fact that a grown man with a moustache that draws attention to his giant nose, drinks wine with a bullfrog.  The bullfrog who isn’t named Skippy, or Hopper, but instead Jeremiah, as if that’s a fine name for an animal.

Coincidentally, for those of you in Green Bay, the Bullfrogs baseball team’s mascot is also named Jeremiah. 

Have at it

Hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk to you again.

Simon and Garfunkel – The Sound of Silence

If you only know this as a song by Disturbed, honestly, that’s cool. Normally I would hate you, but in this case, you are talking about a cover version that has a life of its own.

In fact you can see that version here.

There’s something about the way that Simon and Garfunkel harmonize over a single guitar during the opening that really pulls you in.

 Also, Paul Simon wrote this song when he was 21 sitting in his bathroom in the dark.  I mean, when you listen to the whole song and interpret it in your own way the song can mean so much.  But Paul just wrote it with no idea what it might mean to some, hell he admits that he barely knows what it means.

Meanwhile Art Garfunkel says that to him the song is about people being unable to communicate emotionally, leading to people not being able to love each other.

No matter what it’s a classic.

Do me a favor here. If you are a MNFTP faithful reader, you are probably wearing your required headphones.  Give this song multiple listens, both ears, left ear only, right ear only, and then again both of them.  You can separate the singers, but going back, together holy fuck! Just do it.

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare; the shadow in the background of the morgue.

Blink 182 – I Miss You

I know we just listened to this on the Blink 182 post. But you can’t say that just reading that lyric above doesn’t at least give you a chill, unless you have no soul, like my second ex wife, who left me with the pink luggage, while she took all our friends.

So the song is straight forward. A guy misses his ex.  Everyone can relate to that.  Unless you are one of those freaks that married their High school sweetheart, (assholes)

This is from Blink 182’s self-titled album from 2003 and it is really rad.

The guys wrote their parts separately and since Tom gets the chorus and his own verses, the part that Mark sings is like just 1 long opening. As if it was an interlude to another song.  Either way it works.

God Damn you half Japanese girls, you do it to me every time.  Oh the red head said you shred the cello and I’m Jell-O baby.

Weezer – El Scorcho

You had to know weezer would show up somewhere soon. I mean, it’s been so long since I got to wax romantically about my favorite band. 

That line is pretty killer by definition, and you know you are in for a wild ride.  Rivers just is really recounting unrequited love.  It sounds like it’s a bunch of separate stories throughout the song.

In case you are wondering, translated it means The Scorcho.  But let’s say it means the song is about being burned by love.  Again, who doesn’t know that feeling?

The line has now become somewhat ironical as Rivers Cuomo is married to a Japanese woman and has a daughter named Mia, who herself is a half Japanese girl.  How awkward would it be if some dude tried to use this song as his pickup line on her? 

Is this the real life?  Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.

If I have to say anything else, then we live in a sad world that should have ended in 2012.

Don't call it a comeback; I've been here for years.

LL Cool J – Mama Said Knock You Out

So let’s paint a picture, it’s 1991, LL is starting to get left behind, he was one of those, rippity rap fantastic fun rappers and Gangsta Rap was becoming the new norm. 

So in a way he was fading away, of course now he host’s a show about lip synching, but then again, that can be attributed to the fact that it wasn’t a comeback, and he never really came back.

People use this line all the time, so how can it not be mentioned amongst all the other memorable moments.   But really, LL didn’t knock anyone out.

Oh, Mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law.  Law man has put an end to my running and I'm so far from my home

Styx – Renegade

Fuck Yeah!  I mean I could have stopped after the first line or even gone all up to the scream, either way you get the point.

This is a song from the point of view of a man who is about to be hung.  What era or where exactly the inspiration came from I have no idea. But the song is bad ass

Think of all the movies it’s been in, or the end of the Nightshifter episode of Supernatural. Or the countless fan made collages of Supernatural.

Also, it’s the woman of the house’s favorite song, So I’ve heard it more than a few times.

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey. Butane in my veins so I'm out to cut the junkie.

Beck – Loser

This one might not be as memorable to you as it is to me, but it’s my blog not yours, so eat a bag of dicks.

I mean, I could have just given you the transcript to the whole song.  Every line has its own awesomeness, but the beginning is that first bit of oddness that pulls you in and makes you wonder where exactly this is going.

I mean he says the chorus in Spanish, then English.  That’s out there and at the same time, so damn cool. 

I used to use this song as an anthem, not that I was a loser or wanted to be killed but I was a very apathetic teenager.  So it was that sort of middle finger to my parents, like I can do what I want, and you can’t do a thing about it.  I mean what smart kid purposefully fails at school. (Coincidentally, my own damn son is doing this to me now. GOD DAMN TEENAGED ANGST!!!)

But back to the song, Beck has a very unique voice and he can do so much musically, that this is a very simple song per his standards, but hey, it’s his choice. 

Also, for those of you wondering, He is wearing a Stormtrooper helmet at the beginning, for some odd reason, George Lucas made it get blurred out.

Some people call me the space cowboy, yeah; some call me the gangster of love. Some people call me Maurice cause' I speak of the pompitous of love.

Steve Miller Band – The Joker

So I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain this one, but I already used that cop out with Bohemian Rhapsody.

But really, when you hear this you know it’s going to be a good time, cover bands can pull you in with this one, because, who doesn’t want to be a picker or a grinner, hell I’d settle at just being a lover and a sinner.

When I used to host Karaoke shows in Milwaukee, the word toker was changed to talker, apparently seedy 40 year old drunk guys mumbling the lyrics to this get offended by drug references  

I also really like the peaches line, but this isn’t a blog about the best middle of the song lyrics. 

Oh, by the way, pompitous is a made up word, exclusively for this song. 

That’s an interesting strategy, just make up words and throw them in there. And let’s be honest, your whole life you’ve been afraid to admit that you didn’t know what pompitous meant.   Maybe someday we will just talk all nonsense lyrics, until then goo goo ga Joob

Speaking of the fab four

Well she was just seventeen, if you know what I mean. And the way she looked was way beyond compare.

The Beatles – I Saw Her Standing There

Let’s be honest, we know what Paul means. At least I think I do, to me, I always figured he was saying, I could go to jail to this, but it’s gonna be fucking worth it.  (Figuratively and literally)

The ladies reading this will think that that is a gross line, but they forget that they used to date older guys all the time and saw no wrong in it, the guys, well; they are remembering the last time they were with a 17 year old.

Let’s be honest, I prefer the Beatles later stuff, but this is a very wild raucous time.  I mean they were showing us in 1963 what they were really capable of. But it was nothing new to those who had seen them pull an all-nighter at the Cavern Club.

What’s even crazier is this was the B side to I want to Hold your hand.  By today’s standards we would call it a Double A record.  If you disagree, you know where the door is. 

Don’t you dare mention Tiffany.

Don’t forget they also used this in Rain Man 

So, that’s my list for now, to me anytime I hear any of these lyrics, whether they are sung or said, or hell just printed, it takes me to a special place.

        

Hopefully that happened for you.

Did I miss any of your favorites?  

Too bad. 

No seriously let me know.